iii) A year of change.
Reflections on growing into a better me.
I wanted to write to you all much sooner, but life happens, so here we are!
I.
A year has gone by since I started this newsletter. Since then my life has changed in a million small ways—and a handful of big ways—and I believe I’m better for it.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about gaining agency and self-actualization. I feel like it’s so easy to forget that at any given moment, we are in charge of the actions we take and the decisions we make, but I’m trying to stop taking that for granted. I write my own future—I decide who I want to be. Again, it’s easier said than done, but I want to be able to take full charge of my life and spend less time wondering what if. If I want something to happen, then I have to chase after it. It’s that simple.
I think what really changed my mindset more than anything else is the phrase “the time will pass anyway.” The realization that I can either sit by idly or I can do something productive to further my goals, and the same amount of time will pass either way, has been eye-opening.
A year from now I want to be an even better version of myself—I refuse to remain stagnant.
All this to say, it’s never too late to make a change. “The best time to start was yesterday. The next best time is right now.” or whatever the poets say!
II.
Book news galore! I assume most of my followers have already seen the cover for I’LL PRETEND YOU’RE MINE and the deal announcement for RIGHT AS RAIN, but I’ll share them again anyway.
Here is the gorgeous cover for I’LL PRETEND YOU’RE MINE! Cover art by Guinevere and cover design by David DeWitt. I am so obsessed with everything about this cover and how much insight it gives you into the book!
Friendly reminder I’LL PRETEND YOU’RE MINE releases in less than two months and is available to pre-order on all retailers now!
Aaaaand here’s the deal announcement for my next YA novel, RIGHT AS RAIN.
(Also officially available for pre-order! Ahhhh!)
I can’t share too much yet, but I can’t wait for you to meet our main character. She is so beloved by me, and she’s doing her best, even when there is quite literally a cloud raining on her parade. I may have seen some cover sketches already and I promise you’re in for a treat. I’ve always been lucky enough to adore my book covers and this next one is no different!
Aside from that, there’s other book news on the horizon… stay tuned the next few months for more to come!
III.
There is a book idea that exists in the back of my head that has been slowly taking root for over half a decade. I haven’t talked about it much on social media, but I consider it my magnum opus. It is the project of my heart—my favorite Tashie character (and favorite Tashie ship) belongs to this story, and I so badly want you to meet them one day.
I think this project has had a dozen different iterations at this point, as I’ve slowly tried to map out the best route to make my vision come to life. I still haven’t quite found the right path, but I cannot understate the love and affection I have for everything about this story despite how many different versions have existed.
I’m going to try to tear it down to the basics soon and work my way back up, and see if that maybe helps. I think it just goes to show how some books can come quickly and others can take years and years. In my heart, this is a trilogy (…with another spin-off trilogy but you didn’t hear that from me), so the earliest this entire project could get wrapped up is in 2030-2033. That’s over a decade after it was first conceived. Isn’t that crazy to think about?
I’ve always been someone who likes to plan ahead, and publishing has only heightened that instinct. I’m generally a prolific writer, so subsequently, I have a 5-year-plan. Hell, I even have a tentative 10-year-plan. There are so many stories I want to tell, and I hope I get to share all of them with you sooner or later.
In the meantime, I will let my ideas percolate. (iykyk)
IV.
On a similar note, earlier this week, I sent an email to my agents about a new book idea with this sentence:
Prior to [spoiler], she chose "rebellion" by trying to die, but as she moves forward, she chooses "rebellion" by trying to live.
As I was writing it, I felt something shift in my brain and my excitement for this project increased tenfold. There’s nothing more satisfying to me than unlocking a key element of the narrative—my favorite part of the writing process has always been the initial stages as things slot into place and I find out what the story is about.
I might be the person creating these characters, but more frequently than not, they decide their own fates. It happens all throughout the process, from initial brainstorming to the final draft. My wonderful friend Christina Li (pre-order The Manor of Dreams if you haven’t already) suggested yesterday that ‘Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?’ by Taylor Swift might fit this new book idea, and in saying that, she opened up a new understanding of my own main character for me.
My stories are ever-changing and that is something I find so invigorating. I hope my characters never stop surprising me.
(Also sorry to this new main character for the all suffering to come in her future. I love you, I swear!)
They say they didn't do it to hurt me
But what if they did?
I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me
You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
V.
Things I’ve enjoyed recently:
Severance (2022 TV Series)
Specifically the idea that “love transcends severance”
‘Past Life’ - Ariana Grande
(The entire Eternal Sunshine: Brighter Days Ahead album)
Fairlife protein shakes
Lisa’s Coachella performance
Brie cheese
Late night calls with my brother weighing huge career decisions
‘Know About Me’ (Band Version) - NMIXX
Bioré UV sunscreen
Buddy reading a beloved book with a friend
Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins
Conversations held exclusively over voice note
The Golden Raven by Nora Sakavic
Kids meals from Chipotle
Owning a Ninja Creami
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008)
Every time I get to 2:35 in this specific scene, I can’t help but say “love is real”
wyd when your arranged wife is grieving so you invent an entirely new personality to become her friend and bring her happiness in any way you can but she falls in love with that version of you instead of who you truly are and now every moment of her loving you feels like betrayal
WYD WHEN YOU OFFER HER THE CHANCE TO RUN AWAY WITH THIS FAKE VERSION OF YOU BUT SHE DECLINES. BECAUSE SHE REALIZES HER HUSBAND, THE REAL YOU, IS KIND AND PATIENT AND HAS SILENTLY LOVED HER ALL ALONG. WYD WHEN SHE SEES GOD IN THE REAL YOU THE WAY YOU'VE ALWAYS SEEN GOD IN HER
(wyd when you realize you see god in your arranged husband. wyd when you realize that even when you had your back turned, he still saw you. wyd when you realize he’s never asked anything of you in order to allow you space to heal. wyd when you realize that patience after grief is love.)
You could say it’s incredibly serious for me…
VI.
Zuko section!!!
Thank you for making it until the end. I’ll see you soon for a new beginning.
All the love,
Tashie
very excited for whatever your galaxy brain conjures next—and love the idea of being intentional with your growth 🤍 what better goal for the year?!